Friday, July 27, 2012

You might be a Baptist if...

Slightly Bitter Baptist productions presents:

You might be a Baptist if...

- Your churches doctrine can fit on a bumper sticker

- The pastor's name is written on your church sign in dry erase marker

- Your church has a "Committee on Teams and Committees"

- Your church has "Bible" in the name

- Your church is non-denominational

- Instead of a new members class you just have a potluck

- You've never fasted

- Your pastor wears waders when baptizing people

- Half the men in your church are named "John"

- The painting behind the baptismal involves a waterfall or a lighthouse

- Contrary to popular belief, Jesus actually turned the water into welches grape juice

- You either think drums are evil and so don't have any, or you think they are permissible, but not profitable, so you lock your drummer in transparent a box.

- Your church has hymnals but never uses them

- The earth is 6000 years old because Reasons

- You think Catholicism is a cult

- During your churches' Super Bowl party you don't show the commercials because of beer advertising. But you have a designated sinner watch them so you don't miss any of the game.

- Funerals, Weddings, Graduations, Birthdays and Going Away Parties are all celebrated with potluck dinners.

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